Because
by TyrannyOfDucks
Summary: When Remus loses control of himself one night, his life and that of Hermione Granger's is altered forever. What will happen when fate throws them together in an unthinkable predicament? Will they remain friends or will they become something more? HG/RL
1. That Night

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the pre-existing characters/places/spells/creatures/etc. J.K. Rowling does. Please don't sue. It's simply not worth your time.**

Hermione Granger was bored.

She closed the book she had been reading and sighed, taking in her surroundings. The library in number 12 Grimmauld Place was impressive in the number of books it housed, but was otherwise a dark and uninviting place. The bookcases stretched from floor to ceiling and were painted black, matching the velvet curtains and furniture. The walls were covered with a dark grey wallpaper that caused the room to appear to be smaller than it actually was. Even with all of the lanterns in the room lit, the room seemed to be cast in a gloom.

As bleak as the room seemed, it was her sanctuary.

The others rarely entered it, preferring the front parlor to generally hang out in. Hermione would join them for the occasional game of Exploding Snap, but for the most part she steered clear whenever Harry and Ron were in what Ginny referred to as "Guy Mode." Hermione and Ginny were out numbered by men three to two as the main residents of Grimmauld Place, with the occasional Order meetings taking place in the dining room. Although Harry was the legal owner of the house since Sirius died, Remus lived in it, taking care of the house while Harry was away at Hogwarts with Molly Weasley popping in nearly every day. Harry had already begun making plans to move into Grimmauld Place permanently after he graduated from Hogwarts, Ron moving in as well as a room mate. Harry told Remus that he could continue to live in his quarters downstairs as they had been his home for the past two years and Remus had accepted. Harry had even extended the invitation to Hermione, but she had yet to give him an answer. She wasn't sure what it was exactly she wanted to do after graduation and she was hesitant to commit herself to anything concrete without coming up with a plan first in true Hermione fashion.

Lost in her thoughts, Hermione set her book down on the coffee table in front of her and got up, making her way towards the kitchen to make herself a soothing cup of tea. It was a little past midnight and she was unable to sleep. Recently, she had been suffering from insomnia, unable to go to bed until one o-clock in the morning or so, only to wake up five hours later. After two weeks of this, the lack of sleep was beginning to catch up with her.

Hermione walked back to the library, cup of tea in hand. Shutting the door behind her, she was completely unaware that she was no longer alone.

Turning around, she jumped realizing that Remus Lupin was sitting where she had been, staring down at her discarded book as if he was in a trance.

"Professor!" She exclaimed, startled, "I hadn't realized that you were in here."

Remus said nothing. He hadn't even acknowledged her presence.

Hermione looked at him cautiously. She had noticed that his behavior changed every time a full moon approached, but according to Harry, recently his behavior had been getting worse. Ever since Sirius died, Remus and Harry had gotten closer, Remus stepping in as a makeshift Godfather. It wasn't until this summer that Hermione really got to know the man personally.

It all started the first morning after she had arrived at Grimmould Place. She had woken up at six o-clock in the morning and had walked downstairs to the kitchen, knowing that Harry and Ron would not get up themselves for another three hours and that Ginny, to say the very least, was not a morning person. She was looking forward to having the house to herself for a couple hours, planning to make herself breakfast and start her day in total tranquility before the day would truly begin and the house's activity would come into full swing. Much to her surprise, she found Remus already at the kitchen table, newspaper in hand and sipping a cup of coffee.

From that moment on, the two of them would meet every morning and have breakfast together. During those few hours the two talked about practically everything. Hermione was thankful to have "stimulating conversation" with (not that the others didn't provide this, but she highly doubted that they would have a spirited debate about the Ministry's current policy on Muggle realations as willingly as Remus did). Remus, on the other hand, was constantly impressed with the extent of Hermione's knowledge and with each passing day had a harder time believing that she was not even seventeen yet.

The two grew increasingly comfortable with each other over the summer weeks, the student-teacher barrier between them growing weaker as the days wore on. They were slowly becoming closer, not in the way that he was with Harry, but they were becoming legitimate friends, the age difference all but completely forgotten. Despite this new found friendship, Hermione still called him "Professor," the old habit dying hard.

She gazed down at him, concerned. She had never seen him act this way. She thought for a moment, calculating that the full moon would be the following night.

"Professor, are you alright?" She asked, taking a step towards him.

It was because of this movement that he looked up, almost unseeing, looking into her eyes.

Hermione gasped, setting her tea down on the table. Something wasn't right with his eyes. Instead of his regular eye color, his irises appeared to be black.

Remus stood up and took a step forward, tilting his head as he looked her over thoughtfully.

Hermione instinctively took a step back.

Seeing this, he closed the gap between them, snaking an arm around her waist and roughly pulled her close, an action that made Hermione's heart flutter in a combination of fear and anticipation.

"P-professor? Wh-what are—"

"Remus isn't here at the moment." Came Remus's voice, huskier than it normally was.

Hermione's breathing began to quiver, her stomach beginning to match the state her heart was in. In an attempt to pull herself together, she forced herself to speak, "Who…would you be then?"

Leaning in so his mouth was nearly grazing her left ear he whispered seductively, "Moony."

Before she knew what was happening, he crushed his lips against hers, pulling her to him so she couldn't pull away.

"Please…Professor…" Hermione pleaded after the kiss had ended, her voice betraying her feelings. She had realized, with some degree of horror what was going on. She had read somewhere that werewolves possessed dual personalities: the original and that of the wolf. This wasn't Remus. This was someone else entirely. She kept telling her mind this, telling herself that what was happening wasn't right, but no matter how much she fought with herself, she couldn't keep the hint of longing from her voice, "Professor…I know you are in there somewhere. Please…don't do this. Think of what you're doing. Think of Tonks. You cannot do this."

Her words seemed to have had an effect on him as his grip loosened and he turned away, his eyes slowly beginning to lighten. Just as soon as this flicker of comprehension surface, it quickly dissolved, his eyes darkening again to black.

"No." he murmured, stealing another kiss, "No. Tonight you are mine."

Hermione gasped as he threw her over to the couch, joining her before she was able to realize what was about to happen. Her heart pounded in her chest as she stared into those eyes as she quickly came into grips with reality.

Remus leaned in for another kiss, but this time Hermione kissed back.

_A/N: Let me know what you all think. This is my first shot at a Remus/Hermione fic and I was a little tired of the whole time turner plotline (don't get me wrong, some of them were very good and I really liked), and I just tried to figure out another way for the two to end up together. Let me know what you guys think. I have the next two chapters already typed up and how quickly I post them (if I post them) depend on your reviews and whether or not you guys want me to continue. Thanks for reading!_


	2. Conversations

It had to have been a dream.

That was the only reasonable explanation.

Hermione opened her eyes, praying that she would be in her bed upstairs and that last night had never happened. Instead, he heart sank.

She had been sleeping on the couch in the library.

She sat up quickly, the events of the previous night rushing over her like a tidal wave.

What had she done?

She got to her feet, straitening her blouse and trying to pull herself together. She had no idea where Remus was, but at that moment she didn't care.

She had slept with him.

She had slept with her former teacher. With Harry's only remaining family, his mentor. With another woman's man who was old enough to be her father.

What had she done?

She practically ran upstairs to the bathroom, not caring how early it was and how much of a racket she was making. Luckily for her, no one woke up to investigate. She locked the bathroom door, crying as she turned the shower on as hot as she could stand, scrubbing her skin pink.

_This couldn't be happening_, she thought to herself. Of all the things to have gone wrong in her life, she would have never imagined that this would. She had betrayed herself, betrayed Harry, betrayed Tonks. She had become the other woman. The most disturbing thing about all of this to her was that she had enjoyed it. Last night, she had allowed it to happen and she didn't know why other than she had wanted it to. On some level she had wanted to sleep with Remus.

"Oh God." She whispered, disgusted with herself, "Oh God…"

She began to cry harder, unsure of what to do.

How could she ever face him again? How could she ever face anyone again?

She walked to her room and changed into clean clothes, trying not to look at herself in the vanity's mirror. Glancing at the clock, she saw that it was six twenty-three. Any other morning, she would be down in the kitchen with…him. Sucking in a deep breath she numbly walked out of her bedroom and headed towards the stairs, knowing that this conversation had to happen sometime. It would be better for it to happen before anyone else woke up…and before she lost her nerve.

Walking up to the kitchen door, her hands began to shake as she turned the knob and opened the door.

As soon as Remus saw her, he stood up and rushed over to her, a look of worry across his face.

"Hermione I…"

But before Remus could finish, his voice gave out. He ran a hand through his unkempt hair as he flicked his wand at the door causing it to close. He muttered a silencing charm on the room before he dared to even look at Hermione again.

Hermione nervously watched him as he did this, realizing that he was feeling just as bad about what had happened as she had. His face was pale, his clothes the same from the previous night, wrinkled and disheveled, his hair an absolute mess.

"Hermione…I am so sorry. Last night should never have happened."

She stiffened at his words, chiding herself as she did so. What had she been expecting him to say?

"Professor, I-"

"Hermione, I think that we are past formalities." He stated, waving her off, politely.

She looked at him, her heart fluttering again, "Remus…you weren't yourself last night. Harry said that you have been taking the full moon transformations harder recently and—"

"But that doesn't excuse me forcing myself on you."

Hermione looked away, unsure of what to say next. Slowly and carefully she chose her words and spoke them in barely a whisper, "We cannot change the events of last night…" she coughed nervously before continuing, "…I think that it would be best for both of us if we forgot that it had ever happened. You are right. What happened last night was a mistake."

"Hermione—"

"No, Remus. We can't talk about what happened because nothing did." She stated suddenly finding strength. She took a step backwards, "It was just sex and nothing more. It wasn't even you. You have nothing to feel guilty about and I think that it would be best for the both of us if no one ever found out about it." For the first time she looked up and met his gaze, her hands shaking betraying her new found strength, "If you'll excuse me, I think that we shouldn't see each other for awhile. Just until this all blows over and we can act normal around each other again."

They both stood there in an awkward silence, neither of them knowing what to do. There were so many things that Remus wanted to say, but he was unable to. Instead, he took a step towards her.

She instantly took a step back.

"It's too weird, Remus." She blurted out, tears beginning to form in her eyes, "I can't handle it right now, I just…can't."

With that, she turned around and ran out of the room.

Remus stood there, comprehending what had just transpired as he listened to Hermione run back up the stairs and into her room, slamming the door shut. He winced at the sound, walking over to one of the chairs at the kitchen table and practically collapsed into it.

What had he done?

He pressed his head in his hands, wanting to weep, but lacked the strength to do so.

How could he have let this happen? How could he have lost control?

He had been feeling worse and worse recently as the full moon approached, but last night was something entirely different. Last night was the first time that he had completely lost control of his actions and because of it he had done the worst possible thing that he could have done.

He hadn't remembered everything that had happened, but when he woke up next to Hermione in the library, the state of disheveledness that they were both in, it didn't take him too long to figure out what had happened. He had instantly bolted out of the room, careful not to disturb Hermione, not wanting to be there when she woke up. He knew that they would have to talk about it at some point, but he didn't want it to be when they were still entangled on the couch.

"Well, the conversation happened alright." He muttered, darkly, replaying the past few minutes over in his mind.

He had been waiting for her in the kitchen, knowing that she would come down. When she walked through the doors, she seemed to be different from when he had seen her last. She seemed…older more mature, if that was even possible. Hermione had always stood out to him since she first walked into his classroom when she was thirteen. He'd been fascinated by her. She had known the answer to practically every question he asked and was gifted magically, picking up spells quicker than any one he had ever known. Her essays had always been superbly written, her arguments filled with such conviction that would make any teacher proud. Over the past few years he'd watched her grow up in Grimmauld Place, coming and going during breaks, casually stating hello if their paths crossed. He'd learned a lot about her through Harry and then this summer they had started to really get to know each other. He was just starting to view her as more than just a former student, but as something else entirely…almost as if she was a legitimate friend. Then this happened.

Remus knew how Moony had felt about her, having put up with Moony's comments in his mind about the recent changes in her appearance since she first walked through the doors at Grimmauld Place that summer. She had finally figured out how to get her hair under control, letting her long hair fall in gentle auburn curls. Her wardrobe had since been updated with clothes that were, as far as he knew, "in style" that clung at all the right places, something he guessed Ginny had been behind. Yes, Hermione had grown up to be quite the young lady and Moony never let him forget it. Moony felt this way around anything that wore a skirt really, so he tried not give the comments any importance. Remus used to joke with Sirius that perhaps he and Moony would have made better friends, the two of them knowing full well that Remus was never anything but chivalrous when it came to women. Sirius had always waved him off saying that he didn't need the competition and he preferred Remus just the way he was. He had always been afraid of letting Moony out, not knowing what was going to happen and recently trying to stop it from happening was getting more and more difficult. Moony was beginning to fight back trying to take over his mind just to have a "little fun."

_"And it was fun."_ Came Moony's husky voice from inside his head, amused at how the events of the morning had unfolded.

Remus shook his head trying to get him to shut up, absolutely hating himself. How could he have done this to Hermione? To Harry? To Tonks.

Oh God, Tonks.

Sighing nervously, Remus knew that Hermione was right. The best thing for both of them to do was to simply forget about what had happened and move on. Nobody ever needed to know.

Rising to his feet, he walked over to the counter and fixed himself a cup of coffee. When he reached up for the bag, he paused. Hermione was the one who always made the two of them coffee in the morning…

He shook his head, trying to quiet his thoughts, but finding that he was unable to.

"God…" He muttered his mind racing as he poured the coffee from the pot into his mug.

What had he done?

_A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! __I couldn't (and still can't) believe the response you guys gave me. __You guys are amazing! __Thank you guys so much!_

_Just to clear something up from the previous chapter (which I sort of did in this chapter), but incase there are still some questions, what happened between Hermione and __Remus__ wasn't rape. _

_I also realize that I should explain where this story lies as far as the books go. In case you didn't catch it, Hermione, Harry, and Ron are all about to go into their 7__th__ year. Just assume that everything happened in the 6__th__ book, except for Dumble__dore's death. The Death Eaters still attacked the school, but Dumbledore made it out of the battle alive. Harry is still going to go after the __Horcruxes__ during his 7__th__ year, but he is going to go back to Hogwarts as well, so this is slightly AU._

_If you guys have any questions as to what is going on in the story __outside of what is given in the chapters, feel free to ask and I'll do my best to answer them._

_Thank you guys so much for reading! Keep those reviews coming!! _


	3. The Beginning

Hermione walked into the kitchen with Ginny and Harry, ready for breakfast.

Ever since she and Remus had spoken to each other last, they had been doing their best to avoid each other. This meant an end to their early morning breakfasts, an event that Hermione was beginning to really miss. She would stay in her room in the morning until the others woke up and would have breakfast with them instead. By this time, Mrs. Weasley would have arrived and had the meal waiting for them when they reached the dining room table. Remus was never at these meals, sticking to his six o-clock breakfast time.

The first morning after, Hermione walked over to the counter to prepare herself a cup of coffee (something that Harry and Ron wrinkled their noses at, unable to stand the smell of the drink) when she noticed the evidence of Remus's feeble attempt at making himself a cup three hours earlier. She laughed, despite herself, at the mess of coffee grounds that surrounded the muggle Mr. Coffee machine that Remus had bought for them after Hermione stated that it made better coffee that any wizarding contraption would. I had just dawned on her that he probably had no idea how to use it.

After making herself a cup of the dark roast, she walked over to the table, thanking Mrs. Weasley for the food and sat down where the newspaper had been waiting for her, neatly folded. Ron and Harry were in the middle of a lively discussion about Quidditch while Ginny was staring intently at her latest issue of Witch Weekly. Hermione sighed as she took a bite of her eggs, reaching for the first section of the newspaper, feeling alone for the first time since she had arrived at Grimmauld Place.

The next several weeks seemed to pass in a daze.

Remus continued to avoid Hermione, taking his breakfasts early so he would be able to leave for Order missions before she would even wake up. When he would arrive back at the house, he would try to keep away from her, making sure that they were never in a room without someone else present. When they were around each other, they acted as they always had, as if nothing had happened. The only difference was that they never made eye contact unless they absolutely had to. Remus spent more time with Tonks realizing that over the past few months he hadn't been spending as much time with her as he should have. He started to go over to her apartment more often than he had in the past, trying to convince himself that it wasn't out of guilt.

Nobody suspected a thing.

After two months of this fragile existence, it was time for kids to go back to Hogwarts. Hermione and Remus could not have been more relieved.

Hermione walked down the stairs the night before they were to leave, trying to calm her nerves as she walked past the Order meeting that was currently underway in the dining room. She had long since finished packing and having no idea why she was so jittery that evening. She had felt like this a couple weeks ago, unable to stay put for very long, feeling like she had to constantly be moving and for some inexplicable reason craving chocolate.

She paced the hallway, wanting the meeting to be over with so that she could go into the kitchen and make herself a cup of hot chocolate or have one of the chocolate chip cookies that Mrs. Weasley had made for desert that evening as a "going away" present...anything to make her stomach stop turning. She walked passed the library and stopped, pausing a moment to open the door. She hadn't been back in the room since that night, unable to bring herself to it. It was evident that no one else had either, everything seeming to be as it was since…since it happened. The couch cushions were still thrown about the floor, neglected. The book she had been reading still rested on the coffee table, face down and open to the page where she had stopped. Everything in the room seemed to be frozen in time. It was the only evidence left of that night. Hermione had half a mind to walk in and bring order back to the room, but found herself unable to do so.

She walked back to the front of the house, still unable to calm her nerves, just as the meeting had been adjourned. Hermione began to make her way towards the kitchen when she saw them.

She had stopped walking when she saw Remus walk out into the foyer with Tonks, arm around her waist. Remus had never been one to advocate public displays of affection and even though this one had been relatively tame, it tore through Hermione like a knife.

She restarted her journey to the kitchen and practically threw herself upon the plate of cookies that had been resting peacefully on the counter.

"_This is insane._" Hermione chided herself as she began her third cookie, "_You have absolutely no reason to feel this way, so stop acting like a jealous little __prat__ and get a hold of yourself."_

"Nervous about going back?"

Hermionie's head snapped towards the door in shock as Tonks entered the room, grinning at the way she had been devouring the cookies.

"Yes, well…" Hermione started, nervous beyond all comprehension. This was the first time in two months that she had been face to face with the woman whose boyfriend she had slept with, "It is my last year there and these things do seem to have a calming effect after the sixth one."

Tonks offered a little laugh which made Hermione relax, but it was short lived.

Her body stiffened again when Remus walked into the kitchen.

"There you are, Dora." He greeted, his smile faltering when he noticed who else was in the room, "Oh…hello, Hermione. I thought that you had gone to bed?"

Hermione coughed nervously, as she went to go pour herself a glass of milk, "Yes, well, I find myself unable to sleep given the events of tomorrow. You know, the start of my 'last year at Hogwarts, but the first year of my life.'"

Remus smiled at the mocking tone Hermione had used when quoting the bit from Mrs. Weasley's speech at dinner that evening, "Yes, well, I'm sure you're more than ready for it."

Hermione looked down at the floor, suddenly embarrassed by his compliment.

The three of them stood there awkwardly for a moment before Tonks spoke, oblivious to the underlying tension.

"I best be heading back, luv." She stated, leaning in to kiss Remus on the cheek, "Tomorrow will be a busy day."

Remus blushed, stealing a glance at Hermione who was politely looking away.

"I should at least attempt to get a good night's rest, Hermione stated, when Tonks made no move to leave Remus's side despite her farewell. She clearly wanted a longer good-bye and Hermione did not want to be around for it, "Good night, Tonks."

She walked past the two and paused, looking over at Remus for what seemed to be the first time in weeks, "Good night, Remus."

He smiled, feeling oddly elated at her farewell, meeting her gaze, "Good night, Hermione."

---

The next morning, Hermione awoke after a terrible night's sleep, only managing to get about four hours. She went about getting ready, putting on slightly more foundation that usual, trying to cover up the bags underneath her eyes.

She was starting to get a feeling that this wasn't going to be a good day.

She met everyone downstairs, levitating her trunk down the stairs, in no mood to attempt to carry it. Remus, Tonks, and Moody along with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley accompanied them all to King's Cross, helping them load their trunks onto the train and say their final good-byes.

Remus walked over to Hermione who had just placed her last bit of luggage onto the luggage car of the Hogwarts Express. Seeing him approach her, she sighed almost wistfully and walked up to him, meeting him half way.

"So…" He said, shoving his hands into his pant's pockets, unsure of what to say after an unbelievably long summer, "Are we okay?"

Hermione looked at him thoughtfully, her mood lightening for a moment, "Yeah…I think so."

"Hermione, there is something that I should tell you." He began.

The sound of the Express's whistle tore through the air, causing Hermione to jump.

She turned to look back at Remus apologetically. She needed to get on the train.

"Never mind. It can wait." He stated, digging into his coat pocket for a moment, producing a medium sized manila envelope, that was filled to the edges with something hard and rectangular, "Here."

She grabbed the package, frowning in curiosity, "Thank you?"

He chuckled at her apprehension, sensing how curious she was. He could practically see the list of things that the contents of the package could possibly be that was running through her mind as she examined the envelope in her hands. He couldn't help but notice how she seemed to positively glow in his eyes. Something was different about her, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"_Give her a kiss good-bye, Remy."_ Moony growled from within, causing Remus to snap out of his daze, "_I'm sure she won't mind. You probably wouldn't either."_

Unable to keep the red tinge from creeping into his cheeks, he coughed nervously, suddenly awkward, "Safe journey, Hermione."

She looked up at him and smiled, giving him a nod before she headed for the train. She remained in the hallway of the train, stopping next to a window as she opened up the envelope.

Hermione slowly pulled out the book that was inside, her jaw dropping slightly.

It was the book that she had been reading that night.

She opened the book to find the spot where she had stopped reading, only to find it already marked with a tiny little note with what she immediately recognized as Remus's handwriting.

"_Let me know how it ends."_

She looked up from the note and looked out the window finding Remus exactly where she had left him, staring back at her. He smiled and gave her a small wave before turning around to walk back over to where Tonks, Moody, and the Weasleys were waiting for him.

Hermione sighed, closing the book, a small smile creeping onto her face.

For the first time in a long time, everything finally seemed as if it would be alright.

---

"Hermione? Are you okay?" Ginny asked, noticing how pale her friend had suddenly gotten.

They were halfway to Hogwarts and Hermione and Ron had already made their rounds as Head Boy and Head Girl. They had just entered the compartment that she and Harry were occupying with Neville and Luna when Hermione had begun to look as if she was about to be sick.

"Excuse me." Hermione muttered, getting to her feet again and rushing out of the room, barely making it to the bathroom in time.

"I hope she isn't sick." Ginny stated watching her friend's rather frantic exit, "Perhaps it's just motion sickness from the train."

"You should go check on her." Harry suggested, giving his girlfriend's hand a squeeze.

Ginny nodded and exited the compartment.

It was going to be a long rest of the ride.

---

By the time they reached Hogwarts, Hermione was a mess.

She and Ginny spent the rest of the train ride in the lavatory, Ginny holding her hair back as the entire contents of her stomach and then some came spilling out over the bumpy ride. They both chalked it up to an extreme case of motion sickness, but it didn't take much for Ginny to convince her to visit Madame Pomfrey instead of going to dinner.

"And how long have you been feeling sick, dear?" Madame Pomfrey asked, checking Hermione's temperature with her wand.

"I've been feeling a bit off for a couple weeks now, but I haven't been physically sick before today." Hermione replied, rubbing her arm where blood had been drawn. It was to be tested by Snape, who seemed slightly happy for an excuse to leave the welcoming dinner early, in order to figure out what exactly was wrong with her and what potions she needed to take.

"Well, your temperature is normal." Madame Pomfrey stated, setting her wand down, "I think that you just have some string of the stomach flu for which Professor Snape will have an anti-nausea potion that you would be able to take."

Hermione nodded, as Snape came barging into the room, causing her to jump a little in her chair.

"Ah, Professor Snape. What news do you have for us?" Madame Pomfrey asked, gesturing for him to sit down in the chair next to Hermione.

Snape made no move to accept her offer.

"I am afraid that the results are a bit more complicated then we had originally anticipated." He uttered slowly, casting an almost pitying look in Hermione's direction. She narrowed her eyes at him, unsure of what was going on.

"What do you mean? Where is the anti-nausea potion?"

"Ms. Granger is currently unable to take an anti-nausea potion and will be unable to do so for another few months."

"What do you mean, Severus?" Madame Pomfrey asked, growing concerned, "Why is she unable to take a potion as simple as an anti-nausea?"

"Because," Snape said turning to look at Hermione who was sitting rather rigidly waiting for whatever it was that he had to say, "She's pregnant."

Madame Pomfrey had barely enough time to digest the news before Hermione slumped forward in her chair, unconscious.

_A/N: Surprise!! Ok, not really since I think we all saw that one coming, but I plan on making this story a little different than some of the other stories. Even though I have the events pretty much mapped out for the rest of the story, I am always open to suggestion. Let me know what you guys think should happen. Who knows, it just might._


	4. Pregnant

"We have to notify the headmaster about this, Poppy, you know we do."

"We are to only notify Dumbledore only if there is a serious medical condition and—"

"I'm fairly certain that pregnancy falls under the category of 'serious medical condition.'"

"But what if she doesn't want anyone to know, Severus?"

"Up until five minutes ago, she didn't even know herself. We have to report it. Don't let your emotions cloud your judgment. It is standard procedure and we had no choice."

Hermione moaned as she came to, causing the voices to stop. She opened her eyes, somewhat surprised to find herself no longer in the waiting chair, but in one of the medical beds. She attempted to sit up only to fall back down on her back, letting out a frustrated cry.

'This can't be happening.' She thought angrily, 'It's a lie. I can't be…'

"Ms. Granger, are you alright?" Madame Pomfrey asked, rushing over to her side.

Hermione shook her head 'no' as tears began to fall, "I…can't be…I can't be…"

"You are." Snape interjected, his voice oddly soft, "By about…two months is what I would guess from the tests."

Hermione sobbed, "No. No!"

"Ms. Granger…we need to report this to Dumbledore." Snape said, any hint of softness gone, "When you are ready, I'll escort you to his office where you'll need to tell us how this happened."

"No…" She whispered, the tears falling faster than ever.

"Hermione…" he stated, causing her to look up, "We need to know. It's the only way that we can help you."

"Just…give me a moment." She whimpered, trying to get herself under control.

Snape nodded and moved toward the door with Madame Pomfrey, leaving her all alone in the hospital wing.

How could she be pregnant? How could this have happened? It had just been one night, one night that should never have happened, one night that she had pretended never happened.

'It only takes one time.' The rational part of her mind argued, 'And you did not take a birth control potion before hand.'

Oh God, what had she done?

She sobbed into her pillow, trying to figure out what she should do.

She had to tell Dumbledore, that was for certain, but she didn't feel like she could tell him who the father was. No one would know that particular detail until he knew first.

Oh God, Remus. How would she tell him? When would she tell him?

She thought back over the past two months wondering how she had missed the signs. From what she knew of pregnancies, she was supposed to be getting sick all of the time. She only had been sick about every other three weeks…

…during the weeks of the full moon.

She sat up, wiping away her tears, and looked down at her stomach. She was pregnant with a warewolf's child. What did that mean?

A soft knock came from the wing's front doors, causing her to snap back into the present.

Taking in a deep breath, she gently got out of the hospital bed and walked towards the doors, dreading for the first time in her life to see the headmaster.

---

Dumbledore sat behind his desk, staring at Hermione thoughtfully. He knew that she wasn't giving him the full story, but he also wasn't going to press her for details. She would tell him when she's ready and it was clear that at this moment, she wasn't.

Hermione bowed her head, cheeks flushed from how uncomfortable she felt under her headmaster's gaze. She was more than thankful that he had made Snape stand outside while she told a very watered down and very vague rendition of what happened two months ago.

And now they were sitting there in silence as Hermione avoided his gaze and he formulated what to say next in his mind.

"I'm not sure how long you mean to keep this a secret, Ms. Granger, but you can rest assured that what you have said here will not be repeated to anyone."

"Thank you, Professor." She mumbled, still blushing.

"As you know, since you are Head Girl, you have your own room and bathroom, which for this situation could be considered ideal."

Hermione looked up, surprised. She had completely forgotten.

"And after March—"

"March?" Hermione interrupted, unable to make the connection at first.

And then it hit her.

She was due in March.

In seven months she would have a baby.

Seeing that she understood, Dumbledore continued, "After March, having your own living quarters will be necessary. At least you have the living situation under control while you are here at Hogwarts."

Hermione just sat there, stunned. Suddenly the situation seemed real. Absolutely and terrifyingly real.

Dumbledore leaned forward, "Ms. Granger, please know that I will do anything in my power to help you through this. If you are ever in need of something, all you have to do is simply ask. You have a long road and trying road ahead of you, but I have no doubt that you will do splendidly traveling it."

Looking into his eyes, Hermione, wasn't so sure that she believed what he had just said.

"In the meantime," He continued, "You are two months behind on prenatal potions, proper nutrition, and check ups. Tomorrow Severus shall escort you to Hogsmeade where you will be able to buy the items you will need in the coming months. If you have any questions on what to get, I'm sure he'll be more than willing to answer."

Hermione nodded, mortified at the aspect of shopping with…Snape.

"We shall discuss this matter further at a later date. Right now I believe you should be getting a good night's rest for tomorrow."

She stood up, bowing her head in thanks, "Thank you so much, Professor. For…everything."

She offered him a weak smile and headed out the door, not daring to meet Snape's gaze as she strode past him and down the stairs with no intention to head to her room.

She walked to the only place that she knew would offer her some clarity and peace of mind.

She headed towards the library.

---

An hour later, Hermione walked out of the library, hastily shoving the books on pregnancy and warewolves into her bag, nearly crashing into someone as she did so.

"Oh!" She exclaimed, extremely flustered, "I am terribly sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going are you alr—"

Her voice gave out when she saw who exactly she had run into.

"Remus!?"

Remus stood there just as stunned to have run into her as she was, "Hermione! What are you doing out? It's well past curfew."

Hermione just blinked in confused frustration, "What am I doing?! What are you doing here?"

He looked at her thoughtfully, her anger towards him completely unnoticed, "Remember at the station when I told you that I had something to tell you?"

Hermione's face lit up, the recent events momentarily forgotten, "Are you teaching again?"

Remus shook his head, hands back in his pockets, "No. I've been stationed here."

"Stationed?"

"Yes. I mean, I'll go on missions for the Order when they're assigned, but after the Death Eater attack last year, Dumbledore wants all of the Order members he can spare guarding the school. This was all explained at dinner."

Reality came crashing back down to Hermione, the books that were hidden in her backpack suddenly seeming heavier. Oh god, the books. Had he seen her with them?

"Hermione, are you alright? You seem like you've been…like you've _been. _I noticed that you weren't in the Great Hall tonight for dinner." He asked.

He moved to put his hand reassuringly on her shoulder, but thought better of it.

"_Come on, Remy…you know you want to…"_ Moony hissed.

'One more night of you.' Remus thought, trying to get his counter part to be quite.

Hermione simply stood there, unaware of his inner struggle. She was unable to even look at him.

Seeing this, Remus took a step closer towards her, overcome with concern, "What? What is it?"

"There's something that I need to tell you, Remus." She stated in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Anything." He whispered back to her, grabbing her hands that were trembling.

Remus tried to ignore Moony's exclaimer of pure joy, sensing how much pain Hermione was in. He hadn't seen her act this way since the morning after that night and even then she didn't actually cry.

What had happened to her since he said his good-bye at the train station?

"Remus…I'm—"

"Remus!"

Hermione instantly ripped her hands out of his as Tonks walked up to them, waving.

'Pregnant…' Hermione thought, taking a step back and wiping her eyes dry. She forced a smile onto her face, pretending that nothing was amiss.

Remus frowned, taking one last look at Hermione before turning his attention to Tonks, trying to think of the quickest way to get her to leave.

"Dora...I thought that you were doing grounds patrol tonight?" He asked, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice.

"I was, but Severus relieved me for a quick little break." Tonks explained, completely oblivious to the underlying tension between the three of them.

Hermione made to leave when she saw something glimmer out of the corner of her eye.

She paused, turning to get a better glimpse at what it was, instantly regretting it when she saw.

Remus sensed this sudden change in Hermione's mood and looked to see what she was staring at.

'Oh no…' he thought, his mood quickly darkening.

Tonks grinned, raising up her left hand and proudly showed off her new engagement ring.

"Remus proposed to me after we left the train station. He took me out to lunch at a nice restaurant and then right there during desert…it was like something out of a movie. So romantic! He wanted to ask me before we came here and…well, how could I refuse?"

It took all of Hermione's will to continue to force herself to breath, let alone smile. She beamed up at Tonks and gave the biggest performance of her life, "Congratulations, Tonks! I am truly happy for you."

Remus narrowed his eyes at Hermione, not believing her act for one moment.

Something was going on.

Something was wrong with her and he intended to find out what it was.

Hermione looked down at the ground, willing her tears not to fall, "It's really late and I should be getting back to the dormitories now." She looked back up at Tonks, "Congratulations, really."

She started to walk away, refusing to look at Remus, who gently grabbed her arm trying to stop her.

"We'll talk later?" he asked, urgent to know why she was acting the way she was. He couldn't explain it, but Hermione's pain was torturing him.

Hermione stopped and let out a pained laugh as she turned to face him, eyes brimming with fresh tears.

How could she ever tell him now?

"No." She stated, her voice void of any emotion, "Just forget about it."

With that, she turned around and headed for Gryffindor Tower, unable to stop her tears any longer.

_A/N: Dun __dun__dun__…r/r!_


	5. Acceptance

Hermione had stayed up for an hour after her run in with Remus, finally allowing herself to let her tears out.

Never had she felt so stupid in her life.

But what did she expect? That she would have told him and all of a sudden everything was going to work out? That it'd all become perfect? Of course Remus had proposed to Tonks. They had been going out for well over a year now and Tonks had been more than vocal on her feelings of the matter. It was only a matter of time before he would actually work up the courage to do it. It would have happened if that night had never happened. In fact, it probably would have happened sooner.

Hermione was all alone in this.

Remus was with Tonks and even if…even when she did tell him, it wouldn't change that. Harry and Ron…well, they would never understand. Ginny might, but most likely wouldn't be able to get past who the father was. A lot of people wouldn't.

She knew that had to tell them eventually. They were her friends. They deserved to know.

So many people deserved to know, _had _to know.

She had to tell her parents…oh God, her parents.

Fresh tears began to fall as she imagined how _that_ particular conversation would go.

This went on for a few more minutes until she threw the pillow she had been clutching across the room in frustration, knocking over the lamp on her desk. She watched it fall and shatter on the floor, something almost clicking inside of her as the lamp broke into tiny little pieces.

'Get a hold of yourself, Hermione.' She the rational side of her brain thought angrily, 'Yes, the situation is a complicated one and yes, it isn't fair, but you have got to stop wasting your time whining about it. You are going to be an unwed mother in seven months. Hogwarts will only protect you for so long. You need a plan. You need to start taking care of yourself. There are things that you need to buy and you need money to buy said items. You are already two months behind.'

Hermione sniffed, wiping away her tears as she slowly got off her bed and went over to repair the lamp. She placed it back on the dresser where it had originally been and looked over at the books she had gotten from the library sitting ever so patiently in a stack next to the lamp.

She would begin reading them tomorrow.

Right now she needed rest.

She would come up with a plan tomorrow and take this one day at a time.

It was the only way that she'd be able to get through it.

---

Hermione woke up early and began her research, deciding to start with the pregnancy books before she got to the ones about werewolves, figuring that she needed to know what she had gotten herself into before anything else. The only pregnancy books that the library had were text book style developmental books, which were indeed helpful, but only to a point. Hermione made a note to look for more in Hogsmeade.

She sat there for two hours reading about what had been going on inside her over the past couple of months, completely amazed. The baby's heart had been beating for three weeks already, its brain developing and…it had fingers.

The baby had fingers.

Her baby had fingers.

She sighed, hand subconsciously on her stomach and smiling, feeling for the first time that she had found out that she was pregnant that she could _actually_ do this. She was going to do this. Everything was going to be ok…for the most part.

A knock on her door caused her momentary bliss to end and she scrambled to close her books. She pointed her wand at them whispering, "Dissimulo" to change the covers' titles before she went over to the door, unsure of who was on the other side.

"Harry!" She exclaimed, relieved to see that him on the other side, "What are you doing here?"

"Wondering if you were up for some breakfast?" he stated, his face looking at her with concern, "We tried checking in on you after dinner last night, but you weren't in here or the hospital wing. Everything alright?"

Hermione sighed, mentally kicking herself for not letting her friends know that she had been alright last night…well, for the most part, "I'm better, yeah. It was just a combination of what I had for breakfast yesterday and the motion of the train." It wasn't a total lie.

"Yeah, figured as much. I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better. Ginny said that you were absolutely miserable on the train."

She looked Harry over, heart aching that she was hiding all of this from him. She decided then and there that she would tell him first. Perhaps she had been wrong earlier. Perhaps he would understand.

"It wasn't one of the greatest moments of my life, but…" she trailed off, smiling. She invited him in as she finished getting ready to go out for breakfast.

"These rooms are great." Harry said, taking a look about, "Ron's is fantastic. It's as if it had been made for him. Kind of like how this seems to have been made for you."

"Hmm?" Hermione asked, changing her top in the safety of her walk in closet. They had long since passed the point in their friendship where she felt comfortable enough to change while he was only a few feet away.

"Well, you've got your own desk for one with many different compartments for organization, one for every subject knowing you." He joked, a knowing grin on his face, "You've got a bookshelf here full of books and a window with an amazing view of our tree by the lake, your favorite study area. Plus the walls are painted purple…your favorite color. The room is definitely made for you."

'Oh yes,' Hermione thought, blushing as her guilt rose, 'Harry will definitely be the first to find out.'

She just needed time to adjust to it all herself.

"Well, feel free to come here any time you like." She stated, stepping out of the closet and putting her hair in a messy bun, "Same with Ginny and Ron…although I suppose he does have his own room."

"Yours will probably serve better for homework purposes." Harry said, chuckling.

Hermione returned his smile and gestured for them to walk over to the door.

"Ginny and Ron are already in the dining hall."

Hermione nodded as they walked down the hallway, everything seeming almost normal.

Almost.

---

Hermione returned back to her room after breakfast, thankful that the full moon was tonight and her morning sickness would be over by the next day. Watch Ron eat all that he was nearly made her sick.

She had just walked over to her desk to begin reading again when another knock came from her door.

She walked over to it, thinking that it was just Harry or Ginny taking her up on the offer of her room as study space, completely unprepared for who was standing on the other side.

"Professor!" She nearly yelled, shocked that Snape had arrived this early for their little 'trip' to Hogsmeade together, "I…er…you wish to go now?"

"I don't see why not." He snarled, completely unfazed by how she had received him.

"Alright…" She nervously stated.

She walked over to grab a khaki jacket from the closet and walked back over to her doorway while putting it on. They both stood there in an awkward silence, both of them dreading the hours that were yet to come.

After thirty seconds of the excruciatingly painful silence, Snape abruptly turned around and began to walk away from her, waving his arm impatiently for her to follow suit. Hermione shut and locked her room's door before running after him, buttoning up her jacket as a new thought popped into her mind.

What was she going to do when she began to show? Would she have to buy a new wardrobe or would enlarging spells on her clothes suffice? There were so many things that she didn't know about all of this, her mind was racing.

"Do you mind slowing down a bit?" She asked with annoyance, not exactly in the mood for a power walk.

"You've no excuse for me to slow down, Ms. Granger, we are merely walking. It won't be until you've swollen up to roughly the size of a house that I will even _consider_ slowing my pace for you."

Hermione instantly stopped where she was, glaring daggers at the back of his head.

Of all the people who had to know of her pregnancy straightaway, it had to be him.

Snape stopped and turned to look at her, the two of them shooting looks at each other in the main hall.

"May we continue?"

Instead of giving him an answer, Hermione immediately erased her face of all emotion and walked past him, opening the front doors of Hogwarts with a flick of her wand as a gesture of defiance. She refused to let him get the best of her.

Snape merely rolled his eyes and followed.

This was going to be a long day.

---

Remus paced back and forth in front of the grounds' main gates, deep in thought.

He was unable to get any sleep last night partially due to the fact that the full moon was so close, but mostly because that he couldn't get last night's events out of his mind.

Never had he seen Hermione act the way she had and she had been about to tell him something…something important before…

Remus sighed, as he remembered the look on Hermione's face when she had seen Tonk's engagement ring.

That wasn't how she was supposed to find out.

He had been waiting all summer for the proper moment when he was to ask Tonks to marry him. He had picked out the ring the day before that night and of course afterwards he couldn't propose to Tonks as long as he and Hermione were at odds. When he had left the train station after he and Hermione had talked the previous day he knew…he knew that it was finally over. Everything was going to be alright and he had proposed to Tonks just after they left the station, after he knew that he and Hermione's relationship was finally back to normal.

'_Relationship?'_ Moony asked suggestively, interrupting Remus's thoughts.

'Oh shut up!' Remus snapped, not wanting to play this particular game, 'I didn't mean it that way.'

'_Sure.'_

Remus growled, almost at his wit's end. He was about to retort back when he caught a smell of something, or someone rather, in the air.

Jasmine and honey.

Hermione was nearby…but she wasn't alone. She was with…smoke? Soot?

Grease.

He whipped around, his mind racing as he was trying to figure out what Hermione was doing leaving the castle with…Severus Snape.

Snape smirked as he approached them, Hermione still unaware of his presence.

He cleared his throat, "What's this?" he asked, "The Head of the Sytherin House and about with a Gryffindor?"

Hermione's head snapped up at the sound of his voice, her expression impossible to read.

Had he spoken with too much force?

"Against my will, believe me." Snape shot back, sneering as he always did.

Remus looked at Hermione hoping that she would give him an answer as to what they were doing, but she barely met his gaze, "Do you two mean to leave the grounds?"

"Well, that _is_ why I am accompanying her, now isn't it?"

Remus glared at his old schoolmate and turned to talk to Hermione, "Are you alright?"

She nodded, avoiding his gaze, "I'm fine, Remus. We're just going to Hogsmeade. There are a few things that I need to get before classes start."

Before he could say anything else, Snape resumed his pace deciding that the conversation was over. Hermione followed only giving the slightest wave as her farewell.

Remus watched them go, not liking what had just transpired one bit.

She had seemed different; different from the previous night. He could still sense that something was wrong, but something about her appearance and how she carried herself had changed.

Her scent had changed, he realized, catching it on the wind again. Jasmine, honey, and…something else.

He couldn't quite put his finger on it.

He watched them until he could no longer see them and continued to stare of in that direction trying to piece together what was going one, his mind consumed.

'_Go ahead and admit it, Remy…you like the girl.'_ Moony teased, feeding off of Remus's emotions.

'No, I don't.' He shot back, 'You're daft to even suggest it.'

'_Then why are you jealous of Severus __Snape_'

_A/N: Thank you guys so much for all of the reviews, story alerts, and adding this to your favorite stories lists. I never expected for this to get the response it's getting and I am truly grateful for every e-mail notification from FF.N. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. _

_With this story I am trying to make __Tonks__ less of an evil conniving you-know-what as some other stories __have made__ her out to be nor am I trying to make her completely clueless as to what's going on…but she's certainly not going to give up her fiancé without a fight. As for __Remus__…well, he doesn't know what he wants now does he? He'll get there…eventually. : )_


	6. Hogsmeade

In the two hours Hermione spent in Hogsmeade, she had gotten almost everything on her list. She spent a majority of her time in the book store attempting to find a few more books that were a little more up to date, but like the Hogwarts library, the pregnancy section was very limited. She did manage to find two books that were to her liking, one of them breaking down her pregnancy week by week. The fewer surprises she received at this point, the better. She also found a book that contained several case studies on werewolves that would, no doubt, prove to be useful. She was careful not to let Snape see the title of that last book, not ready to answer the questions that would most certainly follow.

She walked over to the potions store to get her prenatal potions and much to her surprise, Snape proved to be very useful. He suggested, looking pained as he did so, that in interest of money, she should just buy enough potions to last her through the time it would take her to make her own. Raw materials were cheaper to buy then the potions themselves. Needless to say Hermione was surprised at her professor's indirect praise at her skill level, some of the prenatal potions were difficult to make. She smiled inwardly to herself at Snape's reluctant attempt to be nice. As if to make up for it, he doubled the amount of time he told her to hurry up and would never stop saying that he had countless other things he should be doing with his time.

The last shop they visited was the chocolaterie to which Snape rolled his eyes, "Can't wait the few months it'll take for you to double in size naturally?"

Hermione shook her head, rolling her own eyes in response and headed straight for the fudge.

Knowing that that was as close to a yes as she was ever going to get from him, she walked inside, Snape following closely behind with a curious expression on his face.

By the time Hermione made it back to her room, parcels in hand (Snape had jinxed them so that they would weigh lighter. Although he felt an unfortunate obligation to feel somewhat nice to the poor pregnant girl, he drew the line at carrying all of her things to the door) she only had about a half of an hour before lunch started. She put all of her things away, magicing away the titles of the books she had bought replacing titles such as "Your Pregnancy and You" with more droll titles like "Ancient Runes for the Curious Mind" so that Harry and Ron wouldn't even dream of going near them. She even changed the title of the book on werewolves to the cover of an outlandishly romantic novel just in case. She couldn't be too careful at this state in the game, not until she told Remus herself.

She had just finished properly storing the herbs and various things for her potions when Harry, Ginny, and Ron came bursting through the door, not even bothering to knock. Oh yes, she though, she couldn't be too careful with this lot.

"I'm absolutely starved, 'Mione!" Ron whined, flopping onto her bed as pathetically as he could, "Can we go to the dining hall now?"

"We still have a few minutes until lunch is actually served and I am surprised that you are even hungry considering what all you shoveled into your mouth today at breakfast." Hermione replied smoothly, not letting his poor attempt at a sympathy act win her over. She had become more or less immune to his antics by now.

"I am a growing boy! I need all the nutrients I can get." he defended.

"What nutritious value can be found in double chocolate waffles drowned in chocolate syrup?" Ginny asked, arms folded across her chest.

Harry and Hermione laughed.

"Uh...I do believe I had fruit with that." Ron stated matter-of-factly.

"A cherry on top doesn't count, Ron." Harry pointed out not even bothering hiding his grin.

Ron groaned in reply, "All this talk about food has made me even hungrier! Can we go now?"

Hermione just laughed in response, "If it means you'll stop whining, then yes."

Ron immediately jumped to his feet, the first one to the door. It almost hit him in the face as someone opened it from the other side.

"Oh! Sorry Ron."

Hermione froze, the smile wiped immediately from her face.

"No worries." Ron mumbled, still a little dazed from the near miss, "Are you headed to lunch as well?"

"Just about. I was wondering if I could talk to Hermione for a quick moment, though. Fill her in on the safety precautions of this year as Head Girl and such. Didn't get the chance to talk to her after dinner last night like I did to you, Ron." Remus explained, looking directly at Hermione as he did so.

"Okay, well, we'll be in the Great Hall, 'Mione. See you in a bit." Harry said, ushering the others out of the room. He had the unfortunate luck of hearing Ron complaining about that particular speech the night before. Hermione would be lucky to make it to the dinning hall before lunch was no longer served judging from how long Ron made the speech seem to last.

Once the door was shut, Hermione turned to Remus, her face cleared of all emotion, "I am well aware of the safety changes made to Hogwarts this year--"

"I know you are, which is why I am not going to waste my time explaining them to you." Remus interrupted with a wave of his hand.

This caught Hermione off guard. She didn't want to have the talk she knew he was trying to set up. Mindless chatter about rules and policy she could handle. Not this.

"Why were you in Hogsmeade with Professor Snape?" He asked, not wasting any time.

"I told you...there were a few things that I still needed before school started. Besides, it's not like it's really safe for me to leave school properly by myself now isn't it?"

Remus narrowed his eyes, "Don't get defensive with me, Hermione. I am only asking because I am concerned. Is everything alright?"

Hermione quickly sucked in a shallow nervous breath, "What do you mean?"

"Yesterday at the bus station it seemed like...like everything was finally alright again and the next thing I know I'm told you're in the hospital wing, but when I went to check in on you, you weren't there. When I ran into you in the hallway later you looked..." he trailed off, trying to get his jumbled thoughts into order. It didn't help that Moony was constantly reminding him how wonderful she smelled or how beautiful her hair looked in the soft candlelight of her private bed chambers. The fact that they were alone in her private bed chambers alone was causing Moony to go mad.

"Don't tell me that you're okay, Hermione, because I know it's a lie." He stated in a tone that was different than any other tone he had ever used with her...loving concern.

Hermione sighed, trying to sort out what she was going to say. She wasn't ready to tell him now, but she wasn't sure if she would get another chance like this.

No. She needed time to get everything in order, to get used to being...pregnant before she let him know. She needed to get her life in order before she let him choose how much or how little of a presence he wanted to be in it and in the life of...his child. She needed to know that she could make it on her own before she told him. It would be easier for her to accept him marrying Tonks if Hermione knew that she could make it as a single mother.

She knew that once she told him, he would never want to see her again, that he couldn't if he wanted to have a normal life with Tonks. This was her burden, not his.

"I just...got sick on the train, fairly badly. I went down to the hospital wing as a precaution and I was out of there within the hour. It was probably just nerves or something." She explained carefully, hoping that he'd believe her, "We're all just under a lot of stress right now. Not only is it the last year of school, but You Know Who is still out there and Harry is going to be busy with...with his own problems and I am going to try and help him the best that I can. I'm just worried that what help I can give him will be enough."

She looked up at him nervously. It was after all, mostly true. It just wasn't the total truth.

"You three do have a lot of pressure put upon you, unfairly if I might add. I understand your anxiety about the situation, Hermione, but Harry is lucky to have a witch as smart and clever as you to help him in whatever it is that he needs help with. Do not doubt your brilliance for a moment, Hermione."

Her cheeks flushed at the comment, "Thank you, Remus."

"If you ever need to talk about anything, please know that you can always come to me. I'm still the same person I was before...at the beginning of the summer. You can talk to me."

Hermione nodded, forcing the tears that were threatening to fall back, "I should better get to lunch before Ron eats it all."

Remus noticed, with some degree of pain, that there was no life behind the joke she had just made. He stared at her face, watching it move as she stood there deep in thought.

There was something else going on, he knew, but he also knew that for whatever reason she was hesitant to tell him. Whatever it was, was causing her pain and it hurt him to watch it happen and also to know that he might be the cause behind it.

_'Go comfort her, Remy' _Moony urged, _'Just take her into your arms and-'_

"Enough!"

Hermione looked at him in surprise.

His face turned beet red as Remus realized that he had spoken aloud.

"I should go..." She stated cautiously, slowly moving towards the door.

_'Now see what you did?' _Moony asked mockingly, _'You scared her off.'_

Remus gritted his teeth as he held the door open for Hermione, barely muttering a good bye.

He watched her leave, just as confused as ever with her behavior as ever. He knew he had to just leave it for now, hoping that she would come to him when she was ready.

However, he wasn't sure how long he'd be able to wait.


	7. The News

Three Months Later

"So where do you think Hermione is?" Harry asked one night as he, Ron, and Ginny attempted to do their homework without her in Ron's quarters, "She's been disappearing a lot recently. Where do you think she goes at night?

Ron shrugged, completely uninterested, "Probably doing some extra credit work for all of her million classes. She is really freaking out about exams before holiday break. She's gotten to be fairly moody."

Ginny just sighed in annoyance, "Well, maybe if you were less of an annoyance-"

Ron didn't even give her the chance to finish the statement before he gave her a good swat with his notebook. The three burst into a fit of laughter when someone knocked on the door.

Harry got up to open it, shaking his head, smiling, "Hello, Remus. What can we do for you?"

"Oh…I was hoping…" Remus stated looking about the room rather nervously, "You wouldn't happen to know where Hermione is perchance? I need to go over a few policy changes with her regarding the holiday break."

"No, we were just discussing it actually. We have no idea where she goes at night."

Remus frowned, "What do you mean?"

Harry shifted his weight nervously, curious as to his former professor's sudden change in mood, " Well…she hasn't been eating dinner with us during the weekdays for the past two months and we don't really see her during the evenings except for weekends."

Remus stared at him, looking shocked. How had he not noticed this?

"Are you alright, Remus?" Harry asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hmm? Oh, yes. I am fine. As a matter of fact, I think my rounds are starting, so if you'll just excuse me."

Watching Remus stiffly walk away, Harry made a mental note to ask Hermione about all of this later.

Something was going on between those two. He had noticed that their close friendship that they had developed over the summer had come to a crashing halt once they had arrived at Hogwarts. He didn't know what had caused it or what any of it meant, but he was intent on finding out.

--

Remus was pacing the main corridor, his mind a jumbled mess.

She had been disappearing at night? For two months?

Now that he thought about it, he rarely saw her throughout the week. He wasn't actively trying to seek her out or avoid her, but he never saw her in the hallways between classes or even out on the grounds. If it hadn't been for Quidditch and meals, he probably wouldn't see her at all. Her absence from his life was maddening and he was tired of waiting for her to come to him.

He had given her the space she wanted, given her the time to think.

Things weren't getting better. They were getting worse.

He needed to talk to her again and this time he would not let his questions go unanswered.

"_That's it, Remy,"_ Moony hissed, _"Be aggressive."_

Before Remus could roll his eyes dreading the next night's full moon, he smelled her.

He turned around and walked, almost running, after her as he followed her scent.

Hermione didn't even hear him coming, her mind on finding a bathroom before she became ill. Her morning sickness, much to her dismay, became worse as the full moon neared. Right now her main concern was finding a place to rid her body of it as quickly as possible.

She tugged at her sweater, pulling it out a little to further cover her slightly puckered stomach. She had been starting to show for a few weeks now, nothing too drastic, just a slight bump, but it was enough. She was always on edge, careful not to let anyone get too close to her.

Bathroom in sight, she picked up her pace knowing that she didn't have much time.

"Hermione!"

She froze dead in her tracks at the sound of his voice.

"Not now, Remus." She stated trying to keep her voice even as she began to walk again, forcing herself not to look back."

"Yes, now, Hermione. This has gone on long enough!"

His voice was getting closer.

"Remus!" She exclaimed, walking faster. She was almost there.

"No, Hermione!" He yelled, grabbing her arm as gently as he could without letting her get away from him.

"Let go of me, Remus! I am going to be sick!" She was beginning to panic.

"Sick?" Remus asked, confused as to why she was becoming so emotional. He had never seen her in this state before, "What is going on, Hermione? Are you alright?"

"No! Just let me be!" She cried, tears beginning to form. She made one last attempt to bolt, but Remus stopped her, grabbing her by the waist.

"Wait!" Remus commanded, positioning his hands to get a better grip. He would not let her get away this time.

His left had slid over her stomach when he felt it.

Hermione gasped, as he let her go instantly, his eyes wide in shock.

She immediately ran into the bathroom, making it to the stall just in time.

She knelt there, crying, as her body rejected its dinner. She barely felt the hands pull her hair back from her face as she finished, collapsing to the ground afterwards.

They sat there in silence for a moment, Hermione silently sobbing, her back turned to him as he sat there stunned, still holding her hair.

"Why?" Remus croaked, his voice failing him as tears of his own threatened to fall, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't. I just…couldn't." She said, feeling her body go numb.

This was not how she wanted him to find out.

"You could have tried. Were you just never going to tell me? That it?" Remus let go of her hair, anger beginning to set in as the shock wore off.

"No…Remus…"

"Were you just going to have the thing and not bother to tell anyone, least of all the father, that you were even pregnant?!"

"Remus, please!"

"No, Hermione. This is…I can't…I have to go."

Remus stood up and made to leave the stall when Hermione grabbed his leg, "Just let me explain!"

"Do. Not. Touch. Me." He growled, Moony feeding off his emotions. He would later regret this action, but at the moment, he couldn't even bring himself to look at her.

She let her hand drop, her sobs beginning to shake her as she watched him leave.

Hermione placed both of her hands on her stomach, feeling completely and utterly alone.


	8. The Truth

Hermione practically ran back to her private chambers, completely unable to control her emotions. Luckily for her, it was past curfew and nobody was in the hallways to see her in such a state.

She couldn't believe that it had finally happened.

He knew.

Remus knew that she was pregnant and his reaction was just as she had expected the worst case scenario to be: anger.

He hated her. He hated her for lying to him, she knew. She hated herself for lying to him, but she had to. It was the only way.

She hastily wiped her tears from her face, fumbling for her wand as she did so to unlock the door to her room.

'You need him to hate you, Hermione.' She thought to herself, 'It's best this way. He's going to marry Tonks. End of story.'

This train of thought helped calm her down as she walked into her room, closing the door behind her and heading straight for her stash of chocolate.

She kept replaying the incident over and over in her mind as she devoured her box of truffles. She hated that he had to find out in that way, except…

…when his hands were around her stomach, she had felt the baby kick for the very first time.

She moaned as she placed a hand to the tiny bulge that was her belly. Now that it had started, it couldn't seem to stop. It didn't hurt, it was just…not something she was used to.

"Enough already!" she sighed, tossing the empty box into the garbage bin.

She had started attacking another box when she heard a knock on the door.

She froze.

It couldn't be.

She slowly made her way to the door, mustering up all the strength that she could to turn the knob and open the door.

She squinted, startled that the corridor was empty until Harry threw of his cloak with one fluid sweep of his arms.

"Hermione, are you-"

He didn't have time to finish his question before Hermione threw her arms around him, chocolates forgotten.

She sobbed into his shoulder, her entire body shaking with the force of it all.

Harry gently wrapped his arms around her, not sure of what to say. He had just been leaving Ron's room when he heard Remus storm down an adjacent hallway throwing things around with his wand and muttering intelligible things. Acting on a hunch that this might have had something to do with Hermione (she had missed another dinner that night), he had come to her room to see if everything was alright.

Nothing could have prepared him for seeing her in the state she was in.

"Harry." Hermione sobbed, slowly pulling herself away from him, "I don't know what to do. I…I…I'm so scared. I'm alone, Harry. I'm alone."

Harry frowned, trying to decipher her words.

"I'm here, Hermione. You're not alone. We can sort it out together, alright? Whatever it is, we can sort it out." He stated, gripping her shoulders with his hands reassuringly. He was afraid that if he let her go, she wouldn't be able to stand by herself, "Come on, 'Moine. We've been through a lot together. Nothing could be as bad as—"

"No, Harry." She stated, shaking her head, "This is different."

"Hermoine, whatever it is you can tell me. I can help you."

She sighed, looking down at the ground, unable to meet his concerned gaze. "I don't know where to begin."

"Try the beginning."

The two of them stood there in silence for a moment before Hermione reached up to grab his hands and look him in the eyes for the first time, "I think it's best for you to come inside."

Harry nodded and followed her in, locking the door behind him.

--

Hermione watch Harry's face carefully as she finished her story, trying to gage his reaction. It had taken nearly an hour to tell and he had let her tell it without interruption.

He had not said a single word and this worried her.

"Harry…I am so sorry." She said, reaching for his hands, "Will you ever forgive me?"

He looked at her with almost an angry look on his face, shocked at her words, "What?"

"Please don't be angry, Harry, I—"

"Hermione," he interrupted, taking his hands out of hers, "Why would I be angry with you? Why are you apologizing to me? None of this was your fault, and frankly, the only one who should be begging for forgiveness is Remus."

Hermione frowned, confused. "What?"

"He had no right to treat you that way, to react the way he did. How could he be angry with you? This was all his fault to begin with."

"Harry, look-"

"No, 'Moine. He took advantage of you."

"It wasn't him it was-"

"Moony, whom he had had control of for the past twenty something years. I find it very hard to believe that he 'all of a sudden' can't control it. This is all his fault, Hermione, you don't need to apologize for anything."

Harry placed his hands on hers, giving them a reassuring squeeze.

"He was the one who put you in this situation, Hermione. It's not fair to you and it's certainly not fair to…to…" Harry struggled with the word, the circumstances becoming all too real, "…you that child you are carrying. You are the one having to struggle with the consequences of his actions and it is not fair."

"Look…" he stated, his voice becoming softer, "If you need anything, Hermione, anything at all…I am here for you, okay?"

Hermione burst into a fresh set of tears, nodding. How could she have kept this from Harry for so long?

He slowly took her in his arms, the two of them sitting on her bed.

"Everything is going to work out. You'll see." He murmured, "You're not alone, 'Mione. I will always be here for you."

Struggling for words, Hermione just hugged him harder, relieved to have someone by her side. Someone to comfort her, to tell her the words that she needed to hear the most.

Someone to tell her that everything was going to be alright.

"Thank you." She sobbed, "Thank you."

--

It had taken another hour for Harry to sooth Hermione to sleep. He had tucked her in after helping her get ready for bed, the day's events completely draining her of her strength.

He quietly locked her door behind him before he put his invisibility cloak on and headed towards the guest quarters.

Remus answered the door only after two knocks, looking just as about disheveled as Hermione had, only Harry did not feel any sympathy for the closest thing to an uncle he had left.

In one quick and forceful motion, Harry's fist connected with Remus's jaw.

"Stay away from her, do you understand?" He growled, his overprotective side getting the better of him.

Remus looked at Harry in disbelief as he rubbed his jaw which was beginning to bruise.

Harry knew.

"Stay away from Hermione." Harry warned, every word laced with rage, "You've done enough damage."

With that, he wrapped his cloak around himself and walked away.

_A/N: First of all, it is with sincerest thanks and appreciation to every single person who has stuck with this story over the past year. I don't know why it took me so long to get to this, but thank you for patiently baring with me and for giving me reason to continue. Secondly, I promise that you will never have to wait this long for an update ever again until the story is finished._

_Again, thank you all so much and I hope that this chapter did not disappoint you. Thank you._


	9. The Talk

The next three days passed by very slowly. Harry had stuck by Hermione as often as he could and Remus had followed Harry's orders and stayed as far away from Hermione as he could.

He didn't go to meals, Tonks filled in for him during his lookout shifts, and no one had seen him about the castle.

Hermione began to grow slightly concerned, not sure what to make of his behavior. She pondered this as she walked to her room after dinner the third evening since the encounter.

Was he angry? Was he upset? Had he told Tonks? Would he pretend that it had never happened? Would he ever speak with her again?

It was then that she saw him sitting in the hallway outside her door.

To say that Remus looked like a mess would have been an understatement. His clothes, normally very tailored and neat, were wrinkled and looked ill-fitting. His hair was practically sticking out in all directions and the bags under his eyes suggested that he had gotten little to no sleep over the past few nights.

And then there was the massive bruise on the right side of his jaw.

"Hermione…"

She turned around and began to walk away, her concern for him momentarily forgotten and anger taking its place, pregnancy hormones in full swing. Three days of disappearing without a word and he thought he could come back just like that? She was not it the mood for this.

"No!" He exclaimed, stumbling to his feet, "Wait!"

"Why?" she asked, continuing to walk away, "So you can yell at me some more?"

"Hermione, you have to understand that the news…how I found out…it was quite a shock."

Hermione stopped and stared intently at the floor. She knew he had a point and tried to battle her sudden mood swing long enough to hear what he had to say.

"I know that my reaction was…was not a good one, but I've had time to think about everything and we need to talk…about this."

Hermione continued to stare at the floor, unsure of what to think. As moody as she was at the moment, she knew he was right, they did need to talk about the situation. She just wasn't sure if she could handle another confrontation like last time.

"Please, Hermione. You have every right to hate me, but at least hear me out."

That did it. She sighed, "I don't hate you, Remus. It's just…that night…your reaction hurt. It wasn't how I wanted you to find out, but the way you looked at me after you knew…"

"Hermione…" he began to reach out to place a hand on her shoulder, but recoiled his hand back thinking better of it.

"If you promise to be rational, we can talk." Hermione said, turning around to face him.

"Anything, Hermione. I'll be rational." Remus promised, relieved that to be given a second chance.

Hermione looked around the corridor nervously, tugging at her robes around her stomach, "We should probably continue this conversation in my chambers."

Remus nodded in agreement and the two headed back to her room.

"What happened to your face?" She asked as soon as she shut and locked her door, whispering a quick silence charm to prevent eavesdropping. She couldn't be too careful.

"Harry paid me a visit that night." Remus stated, absentmindedly rubbing his sore jaw as he took a seat on one of the chairs in Hermione's seating area. He had been so wrapped up in his thoughts over the past few days that he had forgotten to fix it.

Hermione took a seat on the sofa across from him.

"What? Oh, Remus! I'm so sorry—"

He held up a hand, politely stopping her, "No, don't be sorry. I deserved it."

They sat there in silence for a moment before Remus cleared his throat, "So…you're…five months along then?"

She nodded, "Yes."

"How long have you known?"

"Since the train ride back to Hogwarts."

Remus furrowed his brows as he remembered that day; how they had made amends before she had gotten on the train, how she had disappeared upon arrival, how she strangely she had acted when she had run into him and Tonks.

The look on her face when Tonks had shown her the ring.

It was all starting to make sense.

Over the next hour Hermione recounted the events of the last six months, how she had felt sick on the train, finding out in the hospital wing, going to Hogsmeade with Snape to get supplies, everything. Well, almost everything.

"Is that why you disappear at night?" he asked

The question caught Hermione off guard, "Wh-what? How do you—"

"Harry mentioned that you often disappear at night, assuming you're off doing homework. Do you really just go to Hogsmeade to get more supplies for prenatal potions?"

Her cheeks began to flush, "Not…exactly."

Remus tilted his head to the side, confused, "Then where do you go?"

"Well, sometimes it's for that, but usually…usually I just go to Hogsmeade to work."

"Work?" He asked, stunned.

"Yes…I have a waitressing job at Hog's Head that Dumbledore set up for me."

"But…why?" He asked, still not fully understanding why she needed a part-time job during her last year of school.

Hermione's cheeks continued to grow red, "Because I am saving up money. My…parents made it perfectly clear that I would not see a cent from them if…this situation ever happened as I was growing up and I just figure that with you getting married to Tonks, that you would need your money to buy a house and—"

Remus rushed over to the sofa and sat next to her, unable to let her finish that sentence, "Hermione," he stated flatly, looking her directly in the eyes, "if you think that I was not going to support the mother of my child, you are sorely mistaken."

She shook her head, "I don't want to be a burden—"

"Hermione stop." He interrupted, shaking his head, "You are not and will never be a burden. You are the farthest thing from it."

Hermione broke eye contact, looking at her slightly swollen stomach, near tears, "But this was a mistake. You and Tonks—"

"Will figure things out, but my relationship with Tonks does not change the fact that you are carrying my child and that I will always be there to support you two whenever and however I can. And don't call it…it's not a mistake, Hermione. It's just a complication."

She nodded, unable to stop one solitary tear from running down her cheek.

"I want you to quit your job, Hermione." Remus said, soothingly, handing her his handkerchief, "You don't have to worry about financial support anymore."

Hermione mumbled her agreement and gently wiped her face before whispering, "Does she know?"

Tonks.

"No." He sighed, reliving the last three days of her fluttering around him, concerned with his sudden withdrawn behavior, "She knows that something happened, that I'm acting strangely, but she doesn't know what the reason is or why."

"Oh." Hermione stated, offering Remus back his handkerchief.

He waved it off, "Keep it. How many people have you told?"

She folded the handkerchief nervously, "Dumbledore, Madam Pomfrey, Snape, and Harry. Only Harry knows that you're the father."

Remus breathed a sigh of relief. He could only imagine what Snape's reaction would be to that bit of information.

"So…how are you feeling?" Remus asked, shifting uncomfortably on the sofa, "How…has the pregnancy been?"

Hermione's cheeks flushed again, "Generally, I feel fine. When the morning sickness comes it comes swiftly, but everything has been normal from what I can tell. It's a little touch and go around the full moon."

And there it was.

"Is it…?"

Hermione cleared her throat, " I don't know. There aren't any books on werewolf pregnancies and from what I have researched, this situation…a child half witch, half werewolf…hasn't ever come up."

Remus's head snapped up in attention, his mind momentarily sidetracked from the current line of conversation.

"You said…half witch…"

Hermione nodded, smiling weakly, "Yes. We're having a girl."

Remus's jaw dropped slightly before he let out a shocked laugh, "A girl? We're having a baby girl?"

She nodded, trying to read his expression. As the conversation had progressed, he became increasingly harder to read. It was almost like everything was returning to normal, well, whatever normalcy was for a situation like this.

Without warning, Remus pulled her into a hug.

"A girl!" He exclaimed, "We're having a baby girl!"

Hermione laughed despite herself, "You're currently crushing your baby girl!"

"Oh!" He immediately let go of Hermione, his brow furrowed in concern, "I'm sorry, I didn't—"

"It's alright, Remus." She said, chuckling a little, "I was only kidding."

"Oh." He stated shaking his head, smiling a little, "This is going to take an awful lot of getting used to."

"Here…" Hermione said, standing up and walking over to her bookshelf. She searched the middle shelf until she found the book she was looking for and headed back to the sofa, "You can read this if you want."

He looked at the cover, "The Art and Science of Scrying?"

Hermione laughed, before taking out her wand to reveal the true cover, "Sorry. It's just that Ron gets kind of nosy and I changed the covers on all of the pregnancy books to make sure he wouldn't bother them."

Remus looked at her and grinned, "Clever."

He looked back at the book and saw that the cover had changed to just a plain, light red leather binding. He flipped to the first page and instead of seeing printed text, saw handwritten words.

Hermione's handwriting.

He skimmed a few pages before looking up at her in shock.

"Is this…?"

She merely shrugged, "Since there were no werewolf pregnancy books available, I decided to make my own. It documents everything: every symptom, its severity, doctor's visits, her growth and development day by day."

"Hermione…this is incredible." He stated, leafing through it until he found a photograph of the latest ultrasound that had been magically inserted onto the page.

Hermione looked at the page and sighed, knowing that the full weight of the severity of the situation had returned.

They sat there in silence for a moment, Remus staring at the photograph of his child and Hermione staring at him before he gently closed the book and looked at her. He set the book down on a nearby table and grabbed her hands.

"I don't know how, Hermione, but this is all going to work out." He said, looking her directly in the eyes.

Hermione nodded slowly.

For the first time in six months, she actually believed that it would.

_A/N: Again, I am so terribly terribly sorry about how long it's been since the last update. Life just sort of got a little crazy over the past year and I just sort of left this on the backburner. I want take this time to thank all of you again for sticking with this and writing the lovely comments that you do. The story requests, the author requests, it really means a lot and I made this chapter extra long as another way of saying thank you for being patient._

_I will update this story more frequently until it is finished. Please keep letting me know what you think! I love reading comments and I hope that you liked this chapter. I wanted them to have a girl to sort of distinguish this child from Teddy and I also wanted to make Remus less of a jerk in this chapter. While the main hurdle has been jumped, there is still a rocky road ahead. Next chapter, more people find out…_


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